Colors [tech stage]

Inevitable. That's the right word for the conditions tech stage member currently facing. Starting from this year, cultural day traditions have changed completely. If before we have a two years rotation of six cultural days that represent each region, now we have a collective show twice every year. Each show will represent all cultures from European, African, till Asian all in two hours show. These changes affect the whole community including Tech Stage schedules. We have to adjust to the new proposed program by our faculty which actually makes our job a little bit easier to do two shows every year instead of three like last year. Because of last year, three shows kills every tech member in the school such as tech lighting and tech sound member as well. The cultural show requires full commitment for rehearsal that usually went for 5-6 hours every day for a full week before the show. Shortly, this year will be an experimental year in which no one knows the exact outcomes. Hence, throughout half of the year, many reflections present in the process.

As I mentioned in the last post, I am not the leader of this exed, therefore, I am not required to be involved in every activity that needs tech stage helps or that happens in the auditorium. My contributions to this exed become fewer significants and helpful towards the team. I come only when the leader tells me they need my help for a show. As we have a new member as well from the first year and my co years, I have become lazier to participate to work in Tech Stage. But this attitude did not last long as I realized quickly how important it is to work collaboratively with my fellow members. I also discover more about my personality as the semester passed. I became more certain of my own skills, what I am good at, and my strengths to develop personal growth.

Our first show for the year has a theme COLOR! I don't really know many details about it as I did not give them much of my time and attention. what matters is when we have rehearsal they have it all ready and figured. So, during the stressful week of full rehearsal every day, my attention was not fully in the show as in that week there are also multiple exams and deadlines that I need to do. This lasts till the end of the show and the next project that the tech stage has this semester; dance concert and winter concert. But I gave my best even though I know I could have done better. It's just I prioritized my study more than this while trying to give them balance as well.  Nevertheless, during this dilemma, I discover more about my true self. I thought I am the kind of person who let others control me and forced my self to fully commit to something even though it will cost me a lot for the sake of public happiness. But I did not know that neglecting my duty by doing what I think has more value could bring me to this realization of myself. I did not know I have the strength to say no to people and really do what I think is right. I am surprised by my own action of still committing to the show even though I know I would not be able to put 100% effort on it which I would never do back then. The acceptance of imperfection in my work is another growth that I could see in myself through this opportunity. I face challenges where I have to choose between doing rehearsal or study for exams yet I still managed to do both and being okay with the fact that there is the presence of a flaw in it.