Let me get this out of my head..

"Rara, you are special. If you're gonna make this work, then make it work. Turn your fast-pace brain into words that are make sense and start building up your PLATFORM!"

I think I just got a brilliant idea that may change my life. After watching Lavendarie's video here, stalk her a little bit and found this, I realized something. I have never found someone Muslim; either man or woman, who owns a platform that talks about personal growth and development in a way that is easy to watch and resourceful similar to Lavendarie. I have always into improving my life and get better in all areas, but all resources that I have has always been someone that is not like me. Someone that does not wear a hijab and has a very different background and culture than me. I am not saying their wisdom and knowledge are immoral, wrong, or invalid, but I am just curious if I could be like them while still holding on my faith and what I believe in. 

p.s: There are actually many Hijabi women out there doing awesome work but there is none that really fits into my taste. So if I can't find one, I can try to make one myself right? 

Audiences, Society, People are really the core of the problem of almost everything. Demand being made in economics because there are wants and needs that need to be fulfilled. Same with this world. Each one of us is a player with individual rights and will and yet we did not use our fullest potential. Why? Because we don't have enough sources to support this growth and development process and get distracted too much by other unnecessary stuff. [this one is kinda out of topic but I'm just gonna put it here anyway]

I may be wrong, I may be uninformed, I may also not have done enough research. But this is how I feel. In my country, the majority of the entertainment field sucks. They are all in very low quality compared to Hollywood, Europe, or even Korea and Japan. Cheap comedies, uneducated tv contents, boring storylines, unhealthy socmed influencer traditions were all rooted in my culture in my opinion. If teenagers and young adults surrounded by all this useless yet entertaining and brings much fortune to the higher people, they won't develop. We would still be stuck in the bottom of the pit forever if no change is made. Fortunately from what I see, the creative field in Indonesia is starting to improve now. There have been great movies lately and the content creators in Indonesia are also starting to give more useful content, Thus, I want to be part of it. This is how I'm gonna do it. 

I want to be the kind of hijabi influencer who talks about real issues that teenager, young adults, or even adults tends to experience. Mostly about personal growth and development. I want it to be created aesthetically (as it attracts audiences), well-planned supplies (easy to access and clean), make the correlation between my belief and the core topic I'm dealing perfectly (requires tons of research and laptop-work), and deliver it in English but always have the Bahasa sub (possibly have a special section that talks something related to my Indonesian society because they are my first targeted audience).

Everyone has their own way to discover their faith and dig deeper into their faith. I think this is my calling. I may overwork and exaggerate too tho. However, with this topic of growth and development of humans as the first door, it may open to countless exploration about the other issues in the world in which I have many questions. By deciding to build up my interest in this and really take into action in making a platform of mine, I fulfilled many areas of myself. I achieved the calling inside me to do big things and give back to society as I have always wanted since I was a kid. I matched my ambition to learn continuously throughout my life because I tied it with this responsibility of mine to keep learning if I really want to step into the growth and development field. I gained some affirmation--which was very much needed for me-- from the public of my efforts if I do great later on. I met many many great people who have been in the field before me and again, feeling inspired every day is indeed a great blessing. I spoke in the past tense as a boost of confidence I gave to myself that I am able to accomplish all of this. E v e r y t h i n g by pushing and breaking these thick walls of mine that has been limiting my art and work since forever.

Then, I would like to close it with statements.

I am able to do it. I can destroy those walls. I am enough to do that and I will do that. Because no one should dare to stop me from doing so.