hard time, will it past?

This month, everything seems to be real. Being a second year, facing a harder subject, left behind in this campus without our second year, and having little siblings that I need to take care of (read: first-year). So many works need to get done by the end of this month. EE which I need to submit the rough draft. Theater start getting on my nerves as they demand so many written assignment such as Director Notebook (20 pages note on a chosen play) and soon we will start Solo Performance. Starting to think about college, attend many college visits on campus and started building my list. It was hard because I do not know what I want to do in college. There are also many events that got in the way of me focusing on academics such as UWC DAY, Global Climate Strike, and many others. It was hard to adapt to this new stressful environment as a second year. Yeah, it was hard.

What is hard is also aside from all of this hassle, relationship absorb lots of energy. I may never explicitly say it anywhere else only but yeah it does split my focus. When I want to do my best for my study, this thing always get in the way. Before or even after I ended it. It will haunt me through all my time here and I can't do anything about that except accepting the reality. I just hope I could cope with all of this and not killing myself during the process. Being together is not always the best way. Knowing when to stop is also another lesson I learned.

This hard time will last at least until winter break. I am grateful that I still have people who I can rely on and talk to. My roommate is like my sister which I am glad. I have many supportive friends fighting this rough journey together. I guess it all is not about the hardship but also the beauty within it. There is this saying of how life is a rotating watermill with repeating ups and downs moment. I believe this moment will, later on, will be worth it to look at and obviously will pass. I believe in that. I do.

Here's the recap video of this month: